The DL
I know I haven't written in a while. I was feeling overwhelmed, as many of us do this time of year, and for some reason emotionally having a hard time with diabetes. It's interesting how I go in swings emotionally with this disease. Anyone who tells you that you don't feel that way...well I guess I can't say how they feel, but I'd be VERY surprised.

Sometimes I ask myself, why am I trying? It's a never ending battle. A battle I can never win. Even if I have a great A1C...isn't damage still being done? All he work and emphasis I have to put in to get that number, doesn't that mean I take time away from other things? Or eat the things I don't want to or not eat the things I want?

The way diabetes effects your everyday life is very overwhelming.

What do you all do when you feel overwhelmed?
9 Responses
  1. Jackie Says:

    I have a question for you regarding your blog. Please contact me when you get a chance.



  2. Jonah Says:

    I try to change things up every now and then. At least once a year, change the way I check blood sugar or take insulin or whatever.
    I had my mother make my diabetes choices for me for part of a day once- had her pick what I should eat and when I should test and how much insulin I should take. She was not interested in doing it a second time.
    I take days for myself every now and then, and I eat minimally on those days. That's something I did before diagnosis too- now I eat slighly more. So I'll spent the day walking and flying a kite and not talking, and take with me a bottle of diluted juice to sip from, and just kind of relax. It's sort of cathartic. Most years I really enjoy myself. This past year in the evening I felt mournful, but it was still worth doing.
    You might want to take a day off in some other way.

    I generally think of good blood sugar control as slowing complications rather than preventing them, except for kidney disease. I have urine glucose strips, and I figure I'm not harming my kidneys if I can keep my urine sugar at zero (which has been more doable as of late because my renal threshhold went up from about 155 to about 190).

    As for taking time from other things, I see diabetes as a worthwhile thing in and of itself (definitely as worthwhile as reading a novel, for instance) but certain things are more important so that I'm willing to run slighly worse blood sugars because I don't want to deal with blood sugar in the hour that my after school class is running, for instance. It's worth it to make myself slightly high before class if I haven't been stable. I'm willing to ignore high (and sometimes low) alarms, for that hour, because it is important.

  3. Meri Says:

    A big hug to you! I feel your pain. It is more than a battle, it is all out WAR! And we fight battle after battle every single live long day. But you know what? You are winning those battles. Sure, there might be a few high or low number casulaties...but eventually you figure it all out, and that means more than you think!

    The fact that you are fighting...that you are everything! Now grab your meter and your insulin and get back out on the battlefield! I feel like kicking some diabetes bahookie! I've got your back!

  4. Sorry you're feeling overwhelmed. It does happen to us all, particularly this time of year, and it seems there's a lot going around lately. I agree with what Jonah said, about mixing it up. I actually went on a pump hiatus before and that got me back into the swing of things. Whatever works, I guess. Hope things balance out and become less overwhelming before long. Best your way.

  5. I completely understand. I'm currently feeling very overwhelmed by it all... I agree that it's really frustrating to know that however much effort you put in to check your level, eat right, exercise well, etc. is all only part of a bigger picture, and you can't stop any damage that's being done to you, however hard you try and however good your hbA1c is.

    But I know a lot of diabetics that don't even try, and so I think that's much making an effort we are way ahead of the curve! So well done, and keep going :)

  6. I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. This is my fear for my son as well. I know as a mom, it can be overwhelming and I want a break. It breaks my heart that there is no break for you or others living with diabetes. Is there someone who can help you for a bit? Someone who can take a small bit of the burden for you? If you are doing well, try to reward yourself. It is so difficult when you know that you are working as hard as you can but it will not "fix it". I remember realizing this as a parent...I sat and cried more than I ever have. (((hugs))) to you. Hopefully things will get better for you.

  7. Diabetes311 Says:

    This disease is so unfair and demands constant attention. We never get a break. My heart goes out to you. No.

  8. Holly Says:

    Oh, gosh. I'm always overwhelmed! : O I guess I have weeks when I'm really on top of things, and feeling pretty positive, and others when I'm letting things slide. I know it's not fair to my daughter, but it does get overwhelming. I think that it's not a losing battle-you are preserving your health by taking care of yourself. You forget that you matter to people other than yourself, and you have a responsibility to them too. : ) They love you!
    Just keep swimming. ; ) thinking of you!

  9. kim Says:

    i have been living this life for 37 years. i have not always taken care of myself properly, or eaten the things i should. BUT i have enjoyed my life (for the most part). do i have compications? yes. are they managable? yes. have i ever felt like giving up? you better believe it!!! but i have learned (and only recently) that the numbers will be there tomorrow. they may not always be the ones i would like to see, but i can always try again the next day! and the next day and the next! sending hugs your way! pat yourself on the back for a job well done, and try not to sweat the numbers. 8)

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